My Primary Bag: Exchanging My Binder for My Electronics

In my primary bag — my “it” bag (which is a standard-size knapsack) — there is only so much room and only so much weight that can be borne.  That means sacrifice.

Today my glorious binder (replete with blank loose-leaf paper, dividers and pockets) gets replaced with my electronics.

This shift, like many, is not without pain, sadness and a sense of loss.

As of this morning, it’s in with the electronics and out with the binder — the electronics being my laptop (which still needs to be downsized), camera, smartphone that I use for music, little speaker, iPod Shuffle, tripod, accessories and instruction manuals.  Oi!  That’s a lot of stuff.

In transitioning away from a binder (it used to be a lot more than one), I am left with papers full of valuable notes to deal with.  Some information will get transcribed to the the computer and some hand-written onto much-smaller spiral notebooks.  I’ve gathered all my papers-without-a-home and placed them into a quart-size ziplock bag and temporarily into my primary bag to be processed.

While I am partly sad, I am also relieved because I am letting go of something physically heavy and bulky that has represented security to me for many years.  In doing so, I find myself also letting go of some heaviness from the past that has been associated with my comfort with and need for paper.  Basically, all things writing — binders, papers and supplies (OK, and books, but that’s for another day) — have served as my security blanket.  Kind of like a kid with a teddy bear.

To fully let binders go is a new beginning for me and a fresh opportunity to discover who I am without the masks and walls of their protection.

I still have comfort issues with paper, but I’m really excited to be moving forward in this area.  I imagine that when it’s all said and done, much time, energy, creative space and motivation will be freed up.

To realize the discomfort of what I most covet and get to a space of contemplating the letting go of it is really exciting.

To actually go through the process of letting go and releasing, despite accompanying sadness, is thrilling.

______________________________

Is there something heavy you’re holding onto for comfort and security?

What could your life look, sound and feel like if you gave it up?

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